and be positve

Well now that I had a total meltdown and recognize that it isn't the healthiest approach, I must turn the corner and get back to the positive, outgoing person I am.  We all do it, you know we do.  We are hardest on ourselves and for some reason never take our own advice, even the good stuff.  We think to much, wonder to much and for me, well I am way to paranoid. Paranoid of saying the wrong thing, in the wrong way and at the wrong time.   So here are some positive tips that I have tried to live by most of my adult life.  Am I always successful?  Absolutely not.  Do I give up? Never.

The first thing I try to remember is that I am who I am. God made me this way and while I can listen to what others think about me and I can learn from that, the end result is...this is who I am.  All the people that I have ever interacted with have had an impact on me, positive and negative, and the experiences I have had with them have helped to mold me into who I am today.  I have heard all my life about "my tone of voice" "think before you speak" and "you have no tact" well guess what, after 57 years, this is me.  I can no longer dwell on all the negative aspects of my personality, I can no longer be afraid and paranoid.  I must live the rest of my life to the fullest and remember all the positives, all the gifts that I have.  God made me special and I must honor that.

The second thing I have to remember is that while my body has given me many limitations in the last 15 years, it doesn't define me and it isn't who I am.   As for my limitations, I know that I must listen to my body.  If it says go lay down and take a nap, then I need to go take a nap. There isn't anything wrong in allowing your body rest, however, that being said, I need to move.  When you have chronic pain you don't want to move. It hurts to move but not moving hurts you more.  When you wake up at the start of a new day, stretch, before you get out of bed. Getting the blood flowing, getting your muscles and ligaments warmed up is a good thing.  Plus if you never move and just lay there you can't have any fun and your muscle will atrophy and you won't be able to walk at all.  So stretch, get up and move.  Move as best you can but move.  And don't forget to breathe.

Breathing. Breathing is probably the most important aspect of me there is.  You know, you need to breathe in order to live and I have found that I actually enjoy breathing.  We can't live without breathing.  So, sit up straight, take a nice deep breath thru your mouth, hold it just a second and exhale thru your nose.  Now do that a few times and while you are doing that go to a positive place in your mind.  OK I will be honest, when I do my breathing I am riding a beautiful horse along the beach.  The waves are gently rolling into shore and the sun is just setting with all the colors of the rainbow glowing off the clouds.  Now doesn't that sound good.  But you need to go to wherever your brain wants to go, that is relaxing for you.  Get rid of all the negative thoughts and find a nice quiet relaxing place.  Try it, you might like it.  Stress is our worst enemy, besides our own brain, well at lease mine since it likes to argue with me.  Stress makes us feel worse, makes our pain worse.  So breathe and with that relax. Even if it is just for a couple of minutes a day.  I personally breathe all the time and especially if I am feeling stressed.

Probably the hardest for me is acceptance.  Acceptance that this is who I am and how I will be.  Acceptance that I will have pain, every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day.  Boy that sounds kind of daunting.  Plus now, which I am still trying to accept, my limitations with all inhaled particulate matter.  When you have MCS, you have to remember that no one gets it, least of all you.  But you have to come to accept it because it will be with you forever and always.  It may wax and wan but you will never know what or who will cause you to spiral down into suffocation hell and it is no ones fault. It is how God made you.  As you can tell I am still a work in progress as are you. 

I have no right to be hard on myself or to be ashamed of who I am.  I have no need to apologize for my pain. That being said, I have to remember that it is my pain and no one elses, I don't need to bring others down because of it. I must remember that everyone has difficulties they are dealing with and theirs are more than likely far worse than mine.  I also have to remember that when we are at our worse it affects not only ourselves but all of those around us.  We won't act the best, won't say the best and can't possibly be our best, but hopefully those around us will be patient and understanding because just around the corner it may be their turn to not feel their best and I surely hope that I can be there for them.  To be patient and understanding and help them thru their difficult times. 

So go out and be the best you can be the way you are.  I have dusted myself off, changed my mindset and will go out in my world and will do the best that I can.  I will slough off the negative, I will remember to breathe and I will persevere.  I hope you all have a wonderful, positive day.